it's a melody; it's a battle cry | childhood | for cywyllog

[cadcamlan]

Sometimes, it's just easier to play with girls.

Or, at the very least, with the particular girls he's come to know. They're strong, not silly, absolutely persons to contend with in tree-climbing and racing over rocks and arguing about the things children argue about. They smile at him. They touch his hand and his arm and his cheek and they laugh with him. They never throw rocks or words at him. He never wants to hit them. He always leaves them with a bit of a smile on his lips.

He adores them. He spends his life thankful for them. He does his best to steal away when he knows they'll be free, playing away from their nurses, making the world calm and wonderful.

Today is no exception.

The difference, today, is that he's been playing with boys all morning. He's got a cut on his lip and a bruise around his eye, is stepping only slightly more gingerly than usual as he scrambles down the rocks toward the shore. He's entirely unconscious of trying to avoid the girl closest to his own age.

He doesn't know why he dislikes the idea of Cywyllog seeing him sporting bruises. He doesn't want to think about it.

Comments

[cadcamlan]

The hand shoving hers away isn't quite rough, although it's perhaps a touch more so than it really needs to be. Girls had taken to looking at him, after all--dark and brooding and apparently rather handsome in a rough fashion--but not quite to following. The other boys made sure of that.

"To prove myself." To be something other than the bastard child who had appeared almost out of nowhere. The rock is skipped over the waves carelessly before he stoops for another. "To find the court I'll ally myself to, I suppose."

[cywyllog]

She sighs, taking a step back from him. He's been like this before, though not often, and it isn't any fun. She supposes it has to do with the with the injuries on his face.

"So you're not really doing anything different than we are. We just don't get to choose where we go."

[cadcamlan]

"I suppose that's the difference between men and women." Which they were turning into, really rather rapidly. Maybe she had a few years before she actually left. Maybe he had choices about how he lived his own life.

It was still disconcerting to think about.

"Are you frightened?"

[cywyllog]

"One of many," she agrees, glancing out over the water. "I don't think about it much. But maybe a little when I do."

Her voice softens as she adds, "I've never been alone before."

[cadcamlan]

"...you won't be alone," he frowns, fingers poking distractedly at her shoulder. There should be physical contact, but a hug doesn't occur to him. "You'll be with your... husband."

[cywyllog]

Cywyllog smacks his hand away gently, in a mood now herself. "But I won't know him, will I?"

It's not exactly a question. She knows how this works.

[cadcamlan]

He knows how to be in a mood. How to solve Cywyllog being in one... he's not certain.

But a piece of him wants to. His shoulders twist slightly in confusion. "You'll get to. Quickly, I should think. And-- he'll adore you. That... ought to be nice."

[cywyllog]

"Will he?" That is a question, though not necessarily one she believes he can truly answer.

She sits on the sand, skirts over her knees, and throws a rock into the water. "All he'll care about is what my father can do for him. I'll just be... convenient."

[cadcamlan]

"...I think he will." He lifts another rock of his own, skips it hard over the water before he shrugs. "You're... very charming. He'll be mad not to care for you."

[cywyllog]

"Siwan's the charming one. The pretty one. All the boys clamour for her attention. They'll be disappointed when she's gone."

She sighs then and brushes sand over his shoes. Just because.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Are you going to tell me why you're hurt?"

[cadcamlan]

The neutral expression on his face cracks briefly, foot kicking to get the sand off before he dropped to sit properly beside her on the shore.

"What if I don't want to talk about that?"

[cywyllog]

He has a point.

She inches her toes out from under her skirt, just far enough that the small incoming waves lap over them gently. "So shall we sit here and pout?"

[cadcamlan]

That's hardly the mature thing to do. And they're turning, however slowly, into mature adults, aren't they?

Staring at their feet helps. His lips still twist rather sullenly to the side as he leans back on his arms. "I got into a fight. That's all."

[cywyllog]

Slowly but surely.

"Did you win?" Because really, that's what matters.

[cadcamlan]

"I did." And there's briefly a vicious edge to his smile, although it smooths quickly enough back toward neutral. "He's much worse off."

That's what winning meant, right?

"He said-- I was worthless."

[cywyllog]

She nods, satisfied. That's what winning means to her, or it does according to her father and brother. Especially with Ireland threatening to invade at any time.

"Why would he say that?" Her hand reaches over to cover one of his lightly, being more used to giving out affection. "You're not."

[cadcamlan]

It takes a touch of effort not to jerk his hand from hers. But she deserves that much, doesn't she, being kind to him while he's out of sorts?

"Because I'm not-- like everyone else."

Which in part came from what was handed down to them, from their parents murmuring about his own lack of a lineage. Which in part absolutely of the simple air that hung around him and set most people into nervousness.

[cywyllog]

Cywyllog leans over to look him in the eyes, closely. After a few moments she seems satisfied and leans back out of his personal space.

"You look like everyone else."

[cadcamlan]

Being examined has his shoulders stiff, although her reaction has them relaxing again almost instantly. It's confusing, true, but... in a good way. "You think so?"

[cywyllog]

She laughs a little. "Of course. Why would you be any different?"

[cadcamlan]

Her laugh is a touch comforting. It makes it feel a little safer to pull his own lips in something like the mockery of a smile, chin jutting defiantly out at the sea.

"Some of them say I'm the son of a witch. That a demon left me here. D' you not listen to the boys?"

[cywyllog]

"Why would I listen to boys?" That is possibly the silliest question he's ever asked her.

"Besides, it doesn't matter what people say. You're... nice and I like you. That's all that matters."

[cadcamlan]

"T' know who to hate irrationally."

Which doesn't mean his smile isn't relaxing into something a little more comfortable. That his hand isn't nudging her fingers briefly with his.

"You're nice too."

[cywyllog]

"This is why boys make no sense. Why would I want to hate anyone?" She looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain his brethren.

The slight blush on her cheeks from his compliment is nothing to notice. Really.

[cadcamlan]

It takes a few moments to sort through the thoughts, frown slight and eyes focused on the horizon for the moment. "...d'you never get-- angry? Really, deeply angry and just-- need to let go of it, somehow? And-- sometimes it's easy enough to let it out by screaming or smashing your fist into a tree, but-- sometimes you need to-- direct it at something? Or someone? Do girls not do that?"