and now you're here | teenhood | for cywyllog

[cadcamlan]

He isn't invincible, but he does seem to live rather close to the edge of it.

Taking Cywyllog as his wife hadn't been without a price, of course, although it's a price Mordred is more than willing to pay. It's more than just being allowed to have her stay close, after all, more than being given freedom to sit alone with her and to clasp her close against himself. The 'price' of swearing his allegiance to the King is, in its own right, a blessing--something to do, something to be, some way to use himself and the violent energy the boiled out of him so often. To fight for the King's standard is to not just earn his keep as a son-in-law; it's to make real use of himself in the world.

He isn't invincible, but that hasn't stopped Cadwallon from using him as such. His fate, after all, lies in the future with Arthur. Setting the young knight at the head of the charge doesn't always end with victory, but it tends to bring home the young man himself, if not also a conquered or defended territory.

It's a relief to be out of the court, to be in the fresh air. To taste blood in his mouth even when he rides home again to his wife on the heels of triumph. Perhaps his eyes glow unnaturally with the fight. Perhaps he never notices his own injuries--a rather ugly gash to his arm, this time--until he's being forced to resume being a husband instead of a soldier.

He isn't invincible, but he flashes his teeth with the smile of a man who can't die when he brings home news of victory on the battlefront, kneels to his King and seeks out Cywyllog.

Comments

[cadcamlan]

"Barely hurt." He has to push to his feet now, use his good arm to pull her in close for a moment. "Nothing that will require anything more than some bandaging. I promise."

[cywyllog]

She clings to him. She's supposed to be getting used to this, but every time he leaves it gets harder and harder for her to relax until he's back, safe and sound.

"I wish he would stop doing this to you."

[cadcamlan]

There's the slightest furrow of his brow as he rests his forehead comfortably against hers. "Stop doing what? Using me as his knight?"

Such a small price to pay for being able to keep her here.

[cywyllog]

"He's not using you as a knight should be. He's using your destiny for his own ends." She clasps her hands together at his back. "What if that changes things?"

[cadcamlan]

"Changes things?" He knows what she means, but echoes the words unconsciously. "Wouldn't the change be the will of the gods as well?"

[cywyllog]

"I don't care." It may be horrible to say, but she can't help herself. "It isn't fair."

[cadcamlan]

It may be horrible, but it's not something either of them don't think. Saying it out loud barely gives it more power than the thought already has. "I will always come back to you, fair or no, cariad. Don't you trust that?"

[cywyllog]

"One day you won't."

And there it is. Her worst fear spoken, even if she knew this was part of their agreement. She'll never like it.

[cadcamlan]

"And on that day, Cywyllog, you will be free." He means, of course, of Arthur. Of the destiny now holding them both into the life she's willingly joined into with him.

It hurts a little even as it escapes his throat.

"That day is surely a long time coming."

[cywyllog]

"It had better be. Destiny can give us some years, at least." It would be beyond not fair if they didn't get time to actually be with each other, enjoy a few years as husband and wife.

[cadcamlan]

"To you, at least, I can't imagine fate would not be kind." To himself, well. He's working to accept that his destiny isn't something to be relished so much as accepted. One hand lifts to her cheek, holds her where he can press a kiss to her forehead. "You are far too precious for ill use."

[cywyllog]

"If fate chooses not to be kind to you, then it chooses not to be kind to me, for ours are entwined now." She leans her head on his shoulder. "I may not be used for ill, but I will bear the consequences of it."

[cadcamlan]

It takes a moment for the thought to settle properly. It makes his arms pull just a hair tighter around her, cheek resting against the top of her head.

"...I know my father is-- quite fond of my fate, but-- are you certain it isn't too much to ask of you?"

[cywyllog]

She's wondered the same thing many times. Her answer is given to her every time he comes back to her and she feels that rush of warmth and excitement just seeing him again.

"If I am allowed to be with you for even but a few years, it will have been worth it."

[cadcamlan]

"If you're certain."

And she does sound certain. He does believe it with her curled in warm against his side.

"I'll do what I can to make them happy years, at least."